ISSUE 32 July 21st 2000
		M A R I A H C A R E S . . . Talking of horses, here’s another ‘pop star-animal’ story. This week it’s the turn of Mariah ‘big tits’ Carey. Last night she called me at my seaside home in Dover, just to tell me how she’d done a ‘Bill Oddie’ and saved some poor seagull’s life. Fighting back the tears she told me……. "I was doing a video, when I noticed a bird in distress. He seemed unable to fly, his feather’s were all ruffled and his wing looked as though it was broken. I love all kinds of animals, so I had to rescue it. He was dazed and let me cradle him in my arms. I took the bird to my house , and my house keeper made a splint for his wing. We made a perch in the corner and called it ‘Charlie." Mariah went on like this for hours as I tucked into a lovely helping of roast chicken and pheasant. I told Mariah not to worry, as I too had saved a small seagull that had been covered in oil. I had found the poor animal in Elton John’s hotel bathroom. I don’t want to say too much, but I’m certain Elton wasn’t giving it flying lessons in there. BEN