ISSUE 57 January 19th 2001
		L I T T L E T I N K E R. . . If ever there was a man who has ‘virgin’ written all over him, it’s that good old ‘Granny’s golden boy’ Daniel O’ Donnel. Or, ‘Dirty O’ Donnel’, as I’ve found out this week. Yep, I spent four nights outside his house trying to get some dirt on him. Lord, this freak is so straight he makes Mary Poppins look like an Amsterdam whore! Anyway, to cut along and very boring story short, O’Donnel has agreed to pose naked for any old fool who is stupid enough to give his Romanian Children’s Charity one million pounds. And, judging by what I saw through the dirty little monkey’s bathroom window, he’s been practising for a long time. What people don’t understand is that the poor Romanian children actually live with O’Donnel. Yep, they all live in cramped conditions in his loft where they are busy making all his O’Donnell merchandise. What I witnessed was O’Donnel walking around his house naked whilst whipping the poor boys every time they fell asleep at their sewing machines. He doesn’t need the money for his charity, oh, no. He’s desperately trying to set up another charity for young African boys who are allergic to clothing. BEN.