ISSUE 53 December 15th 2000
		B I G B E A U T I E S . . . I’ve seen some strange sights in my time (including that three-legged Shetland pony that won the Grand National in 1981) but the sight of Geri Haliwell arriving at an 'Over Eaters Anonymous' meeting in L.A this week takes 'a large selection of chocolate biscuits'. I mean, it’s a bit like Charlotte Church turning up to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. ‘Slim as a pipe cleaner’ Geri arrived just as Mel C was leaving (she was being air lifted to hospital after a giant cheese toasty got wedged between her armpit and left breast !), Geri sat down and listened as 30 overweight ‘hippos’ told their heart warming ‘fatty’ stories. One poor ‘giant donkey’ told the large group how her chronic over eating began with a single grape and ended up with a large selection of farmyard animals. As I tucked into a huge vat of sausage rolls, Geri’s spokesperson denied that she has any kind of ‘where did that plate full of pork pies go?’ problems. He told me: "It’s well documented that Geri has had her problems in the past. She just happened to be in the area and dropped by to give people who are suffering similar problems her support!" Well I’m sorry, but I can’t remember Geri ever looking like a darts player that had just swallowed a lorry full of Tarmac? And I’m sure those poor huge bulging baboons really appreciated Geri telling them how she went from a size 7 to a size 6 in under a week. Keep up the good work ginger beaver! BEN.