ISSUE 53 December 15th 2000
		S N I F F E R D O G . . Christmas is a time of thinking about those less fortunate than ourselves. Think of those who have no home, or no future. For some reason the name Paul Hardcastle comes to mind! Well, this week my heart goes out to a former soul diva who is now doing a very good impression of a drugged up hyena after a night on the tiles with Finley Quale! Yep, poor old Whitney Houston is once again looking like a crazed racehorse that’s been pumped full of ‘smack’ . Why do I care about her so much, you’re probably asking yourself. Well, Whitney has played a huge part in my life since I was 15. Her ‘musical wave of shit’ has been the soundtrack to every romance I’ve ever had. Iit seems like only yesterday when Tina and I were busy making love to ‘Saving all my love for you’. (Man, that car park in Luton hasn’t seen a night like it since!) And, who could forget my beloved Debbie singing ‘I will always love you’ at our ‘fairy tale’ wedding in 1992. Afterwards, she told our delighted close family and friends that she was pregnant with our first child. (Unfortunately, the awful truth came out nine months later when she gave birth to a bouncing 9 pound African baby. And if I ever seen our lodger ‘Leroy’ again, they’ll be hell to pay!) So, someone please get Whitney back to doing what she does best. (And judging by her latest efforts, I’d say its cooking and ironing). BEN