ISSUE 51 December 1st 2000
		C A U G H T I N B E D . . Well, well, well, it had to happen. After years of conning the world into believing he was one of the worlds ‘greatest love gods’, dirty old Mick Hucknall has finally been rumbled. The ‘ginger baboon’ has had more hot beaver than I’ve had hot…beaver, but this week he’s been facing a terrifying rape charge after he got some 21 year old bit of ruff pissed up and attempted to play ‘spin the ginger truncheon in the velvet purse’. By the end of the night, Mick’s ‘love stick’ was ‘simply red’ after the poor lass had been hoodwinked into bed by his ‘seduction technique’ that involved two bottles of champagne and a blank cheque. But once the poor girl had woken up in his 3 million-pound mansion and realised that dirty Mick had been playing ‘trains and tunnels’ whilst she was comatosed, the cops were called in and he was led away wearing handcuffs. (Kinky). However, Mick was soon walking the back streets of Soho again after being set free by the good old Metropolitan Police. Apparently, after a strip search they couldn’t believe anyone in their right mind would want to sleep with him, and threw the girls charge of rape out of the window. Last night I received an emotional phone call from the poor girl’s mother. She told me:" My daughter is a very private and emotional young woman". The girl in question was back at work last night at the ‘Golden Beaver’ entertaining the troops. BEN