ISSUE 50 November 24th 2000
		S P I C E T I M E . . Well, this week it looks as if it’s the end of era for a top female band. No, the Roly Poly’s haven’t exploded after falling asleep with the central heating on. It’s much worse than that. Yep, the Spice Girls have split up. I know it’s a bit like the devil’s sperm (quite shocking, and difficult to swallow) but I can exclusively reveal that after last week’s MTV awards, the girls finally agreed the game was up when their latest album ‘Forever’ sold as well as tickets for a ‘night of wild passion with Sue Barker’. I know thousands of young fans out there will be crying like a ‘vicar in a lawn mower’, but please remember all is not lost...you’ve still got Westlife. So, what now for those four ‘talentless, tuneless’ donkeys? Well, Victoria’s obviously got nothing to worry about as the musical version of ‘The Pied Piper of Hamlin’ hits the West End early next year. And, I’ve got a pretty good feeling a staring role as one of the filthy rats shouldn’t be too hard for her to get, especially as she won’t be needing a costume or any make up. Mel C on the other hand has become massive…ly successful, and it shouldn’t be too long before her transformation into a Royal Marine’s lifeboat is complete. Mel B will no doubt record a second solo album, (which will once again flop like a giant sperm whale falling from a helicopter). And what about Baby Spice? Well, no one gives a toss about her do they? So, there you go. Bye, bye, Spice Girls. ‘Viva Forever’, which I believe is Mexican for ‘F**K Off’. BEN