ISSUE 49 November 17th 2000
		S I N G I N G W I L B U R Y . . . You’ve got to feel sorry for poor old George Harrison. Not only was he in the Travelling Wilburys, but this week he’s also been telling the world of the moment he was nearly stabbed to death by a crazed fan last December. Yep, apparently, ‘Class A fruit cake’ Michael Abram broke into Harrison’s £5 million mansion, after beating the hi-Tec security that surrounds Harrison’s home. Abram ignored the 12-foot electronic fence and guard dogs, and simply walked through the open patio doors that Harrison had forgot to close before going to bed. Abram then went ‘berserk’ and attacked poor old George with a 12-inch knife. And how did George react to the sight of some deranged attacking him? Well, he simply shouted ‘Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna’. Dear, oh dear. Why George thought Hare Krishna would turn up looking like a ‘scouse smack head’ in the dead of night is beyond me. (But, then again, if you took as many drugs as George did in 1967, you’d probably have a mind as confused as his). George is only alive to day, thanks to his wife who kicked the shit out of the crazed psycho. George, on the other hand, could only lie on the floor after being stabbed 10 times. What a Pussy! Can I just make an urgent appeal to any ‘crazy freaks’ out there: Paul McCartney’s still very much alive and well and still able to live a charmed life, (even after ‘The Frog Chorus’). So, if you are going to murder anyone, please write to me first, and I will happily give you Macca’s address. BEN.