ISSUE 48 November 10th 2000
		O H Y O U B I T C H . . . It’s the chart battle of the year. Yep, this week the Spice Girls and those dirty little Irish peasants, Westlife, both release their new albums. Last night I caught up with Mel C, and in between munching on a raw horse’s leg and supping from a vat of pure treacle, She told me: "Westlife are a talentless bunch of tossers who don’t deserve to be in the charts, let alone number one. It’s all crap marketed rubbish." I hate to point it out Mel, but ‘marketed rubbish’ is exactly what the Spice Girls are. But, the real ‘proof in the pudding’ is which band provided the best Album launch party. Last night I crept through the backstreets of Soho risking ‘life and limb’ (not to mention ‘hot gay sex’), to give you my exclusive run down on last nights rival launch parties. (And I think it’s pretty clear which group came out on top ! THE SPICE GIRLS VENUE: Savoy Hotel...............'Great venue. Felt like Buckingham Palace'. FOOD: Sushi, Mozzarella balls, and caviar...... DRINKS: Champagne, and Cocktails. CELEBRITIES: Leo Decaprio, U2, Puff Daddy, and Britney Spears. TOTAL COST: £75,000 WESTLIFE: VENUE: Soho’s YWCA...'Cramped conditions, surrounded by illegal Romanian immigrants'. FOOD: Stew, Meatballs and crisps. DRINKS: Bucksfizz, diet Lilt, and Strongbow cider. CELEBRITIES: Wolf from Gladiators, Flowella Benjamin and Alan Titchmarsh. TOTAL COST: £17.50 BEN.