ISSUE 47 November 3rd 2000
		C O M E O N T H E N . . . The Q awards were in the headlines this week, and for once they were more exciting than a GCSE science lesson.The main reason was Liam Gallagher. Pissed up, coked up, and back to doing what he does best: being a huge cock! Acting like a drugged up donkey, Liam stole the show. Once again he showed the world his gift for witty one liners, he told Kylie Minogue to: "Get your tits out, you lesbian, and write your own tunes for a change ". Hilarious. Right up there with Russ Abbott ! However, Liam’s loud mouth antics didn’t end there . He once again opened up his tiresome feud with Robbie Williams. He screamed : "I think Robbie’s a queer, he was three tables away from me and he was eyeing me up. I’ll F**king have him ! ". I think the real reason Robbie was eyeing Liam up was because from a distance, Liam probably looked a lot like his beloved ‘sex ape’. ( I only hope Liam turns up at this year’s ‘Horse And Hound’ magazine awards, it could do with livening up a bit! ). However, the funniest story from this ‘smug arseholes’ awards ceremony was the one concerning singer Sharleen Spitteri, who stormed out of the awards after learning that a cruel, practical joke had been played on her. Apparently, the thick weasel believed that her crock of shit band, Texas, had won the ‘Best Band In The World Award’, and quickly stormed out once she realised it was a complete load of bollocks. I mean, she couldn’t of seriously believed her band would win ? I think the Wurzel’s had more of a chance of winning this award than you, love. At least they can write a decent tune. And they probably look a darn sight better than you without your make up on! BEN