ISSUE 45 October 20th 2000
		F E K A R F F . . . Boyzone’s very own ‘singing builders’ Keith Duffy and Shane Lynch this week launched a blistering attack on just about everyone in the world of pop. These two bog eyed water rats, both appear to have turned into ‘gansta rappers’ in their debut solo single, a cover of Milli Vanilli’s comedy classic ‘Girl You Know It’s True’. Their ‘limp wristed’ attack, singled out Westlife, Gary Barlow, Steps, Five, and Puff Daddy. "Westlife, lowlife, go and get your own life/When the lights go out Five better watch out/Gary dodges salad and he’s far too phat/I put it on the line for MTV/Well Puff Daddy-Tuff Daddy-just you wait and see? Cos when the going gets tough, the Puff gets going ". Dear oh dear, even a five year old with learning difficulties could come up with better lyrics than this. And I’m pretty sure that Puff Daddy is hardly shaking in his boots at the thought of two buck toothed Irish peasants chasing him through the back streets of Harlem with nothing more than a potato peeler. Worse still, is the fact that they appear to believe they have absolutely nothing in common with boy bands, despite the fact they are actually in the biggest boy band of all time. The ‘doughnuts!’ These two are more stupid than they look. Now, ‘Fek arff’ back to your ‘Hood’ and leave us all in peace. BEN.