ISSUE 40 September 15th 2000
		V I N N I E T H E M O O C H E R . . . Dear oh dear. can I just warn all you ‘music lovers’ out there in ‘cyber space’, that one of the worst records of all time is to hit the shops this December in a desperate attempt to top the charts in time for ’Christ’s Birthday’. Not content with making a football career out of crippling every player in sight, Vinnie Jones has now turned his ‘talents’ towards the world of music. Yep, good old ‘studs up, for a leg of holes’ has teamed up with that ‘smug weasel’ Jools Holland to murder such classic’s as ‘The Moocher’ and ‘Hit The Road Jack’ (?). And how much is he being paid to churn out this crock of shit ? Well, RCA (home of Elvis!) have agreed a staggering £150,000 deal for a man who sings like a builder trapped in an air vent. I don’t know about you lot but the words ‘day light robbery’ suddenly spring to mind. However, this is not the first time Vinnie has hoodwinked a massive industry into giving him vast amounts of money for ‘fannying around’. I think it was only last year when Mr Jones conned the British Film industry into believing he was the next Robert De Nero, when really he's got about the same acting ability of a 5 year old in a school nativity play. BEN.