ISSUE 39 September 8th 2000
		M c A R T . . . This week, Paul McCartney announced that he is to re-invent himself as a ‘serious artist’. He claimed : "Yes, I love painting, I'm very proud of my work! I’m not prepared for critics, I never am, but I’ve never listened to what they had to say anyway!". Well, judging by your very good artistic impressions of a ‘pissed up five year old playing with a box of crayons’, may I suggest that you should now start listening to the those ‘critics’, as you’ll soon realise your work is on a par with works of art shown during the ‘viewers drawings section’ on Tony Hart’s ‘Hart Beat’. If you think you’re a ‘serious artist’ then you haven’t got a leg to stand on. (Which is a bit like your girlfriend's current situation). I’ve got a much better idea for you Macca. Why not trying to ‘re-invent’ yourself as a serious song writer, because from where I’m sat, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Keith and F**king Orvil couldn’t come up with a more moving piece of music. Now put your canvas down and get on with it. Weasel face! BEN