ISSUE 32 July 21st 2000
		A B R A K E B A B R A . . . Have you seen the video for Robbie William’s new single ‘Rock DJ’ ? There’s bits of flesh flying everywhere ! It reminds me of the time my Uncle Reggie went berserk in a Kebab van in 1985. He ended up having to pay ‘ABRA-KE-BAB-RA’ millions of pounds in damages. They were still finding pieces of rotting flesh, weeks after his violent attack. (half price of course) Anyway, back to Robbie. Not only has his ‘horror’ video caused outrage across the globe, but it seems that poor little Robbie is regretting his decision to give one of his best songs for years, away to some tacky ‘collect the ring pulls’ campaign by ‘Pepsi’. It works like this, you have to guzzle 50 cans of the ‘liquid tarmac’, just to collect enough ring pulls to get a free Robbie CD. (Judging by the size of Mel C, it looks as if she’s been guzzling most of it….and she doesn’t even want the disk). Apparently, the Pepsi song ‘United’ pisses all over his latest crock of shit ‘Rock DJ’ but it’s too late to do anything about it ! The fact that he was given a wheel barrow full of gold coins for his song, and that he will get massive ‘free’ marketing and publicity from this campaign, leaves me crying in my Rola Cola… BEN