ISSUE 30 July 7th 2000
		C O M E O N T H E N . . . Robbie William’s looks as if he’s stirred up just enough controversy for his new album and single release. And what better way to do this than re hash that ‘dead as a donkey’ story about him and Liam wanting a fight. Although this time he seems to hint that the only ‘fisty cuffs’ that will appear will be those they will be both wearing as they hump the arse off each other. Robbie announced this week : ‘ We’d probably have sex. That’s what this is all about isn’t it ?. Brown love. I want to feel him up, then shag him senseless and have him enjoy it. I want him to be grateful for it. I want to shag Liam Gallagher and I know it’s never going to happen and that’s why I’m all upset.’ Dear, oh dear. This reminds me of the time I announced to everyone in the school canteen that I wanted to ‘kiss’ the school bully Stevie Nash. Two weeks later my eye sight had still not returned, and I couldn’t move my penis due to the pain. He hadn’t beaten me up……….merely shagged my arse off !. How was I supposed to know he was a raving homosexual. Lord above. I can only warn you Robbie, you could be playing devil’s advocate. (I was playing ‘Devil’s Advacado’ which involved a red hot bottom and a small avacardo !. Lord it hurt.) Dear Robbie, please stick to the chicks. Leave that singing tramp alone, please, I speak from great experience ! BEN