ISSUE 27 June 16th 2000
		L O R D A B O V E . . . At last David Bowie has finally revealed what made him go ‘berserk’ and start reciting the Lord's Prayer at the Freddie Mercury tribute show in 1992. He told a reporter this week : "I didn’t know if I was going to carry it out or not until that break at the end of the song - then, whoosh......I was down. I felt as if I was being transported by the situation, and that I no longer had control! It was astounding to find that I was delivering the prayer in front of so many people without hearing a pin drop. I was so scared, as I was doing it, I felt the 'jaw drop quotient' fill the stadium.’ I’m not surprised you could hear a pin drop, David, as you clearly had your head rammed firmly up your arse hole that day. Not since Jesus tried to pull the same trick at Friar Tuck's stag night, has the Lord's Prayer been responsible for bringing an old man’s career to a grinding halt. It’s almost as if it puts a ‘voodoo’ on anyone who speaks it out aloud. After you read the Lord's Prayer to a stadium of ‘bottom strokers’ eight years ago, your records began selling as well as ‘mince at a vegan BBQ’. Jesus’ career also suffered the same fate as his DIY handbook ‘Four Nails and Two Planks of Wood’ and his keep fit video both failed to sell more than 4 copies each. BEN