ISSUE 26 June 9th 2000
		S P O T T H E B A L L . . . . It wouldn’t be a true week in the world of pop without Kylie Minogue showing us her arse. Well, readers here she comes again, like a bad fart under the duvet, she just won’t go away. Just look at what she’s up to now. This woman would do anything for publicity ! And we should thank the lord above that her career is up shit creek, so much so, that she has to show us her ‘shit creek’ just to get some, much needed publicity. God, I love this woman. Her new single is called ‘Spinning around’ and is released on June the 19th. If only Kylie would stop ‘spinning around’ during the photo shoot , we could of all got a look at her ‘front garden’ rather than the ‘bumpy waste land’ around the back. So lads, just sit back and imagine playing ‘sex tennis’ at her mansion. The game involves lobbing your balls over a net, and then trying to retrieve them from her bush. If you can’t find them, offer Kylie the chance to play ‘sex badminton’. it’s basically the same as ‘sex tennis’ only this time you have to retrieve your ‘shuttle cock’ from her mouth. BEN.