ISSUE 25 June 2nd 2000
		G L I T T E R B A L L S . . . . Man, I’ve seen some horrific sights in my life. For example, the sight of my Grandmother eating a live salmon straight from her garden pond whilst stark naked and sniffing lighter fuel. Then there was the time I found out what my Uncle Reggie really meant by ‘nude shop lifting’ (guess where he hid the tooth paste). Well, this week I’ve seen photos that top the lot .Yep, he’s back .Gary ‘has it got a view of the play ground?’ Glitter. You’ve probably seen the photos of him looking like a bald over weight dinner lady whilst living it up like a king in the ports of Spain. From the look of it he’s dinning on the best food money can buy, and knocking off some 90 year old hair dresser on every luxury yacht in the harbour. (All this happens when he’s not cruising around in his red Mercedes 500SEC.) I don’t want to sound bitter, but if this is the life you get to lead after being caught peddling child porn, then ‘lead me to the cell, officer. I’m riddled with the stuff!’. I could do with a holiday. I bet old ‘nappy fondler’ couldn’t believe his luck when he found out the only place in the world he could hide away happens to be Spain who have the most relaxed laws on under age sex in the world. It’s a bit like sending The Yorkshire Ripper off to the back streets of Amsterdam once he is freed. So, Mr Glitter, may your oily knob get rammed in your disk drive whilst you go berserk over the latest Werthers Originals Advert, you sick evil man. BEN.