ISSUE 25 June 2nd 2000
		H O N E S T G I R L S . . . . I love the All Saints. I think every man who’s never had a girlfriend does. But, this week I love them even more. Yes, they’re beautiful, (and they look great with nothing on), but this week they have been cruelly savaged in the press just because their film ‘Honest’ is the biggest Turkey ever seen since Bernard Mathews went beserk and pumped that poor animal full of cement and steroids. It’s not their fault they can’t act. It’s not their fault that that fat pervert Dave Stewart spent months on the soundtrack (which oddly enough involved him spending hours locked away in his attic with all the explicit scenes from the film). No, I won’t have it. These girls deserve more respect. However, seeing as they won’t get it, here’s the best of the ‘Honest’ film reviews. The Mirror : ‘The one All Saint who emerges with credit is Shazney. She isn’t in it.’ The Sun : ‘Even a room full of monkeys left alone with box full of crayons could come up with a better movie than this.’ The Daily Mail : ‘The film is wildly over long at 105 minutes and the 18 certificate is thoroghly deserved for its stupid use of violence, exploitive sexuality and foul language.’ Daily Star : ‘It’s shit.’ BEN.