ISSUE 65 March 16th 2001
		M R T A N G E R I N E M A N . . . Looking a lot like ‘Peter Paedophile’ after he’s just seen his perverted fantasy turn into reality! Chris Evan’s took old ‘wonkey donkey’ Billie, out for a spot of house hunting this week. And no, they weren’t looking around the ‘Crack Streets of Clapham’, but a luxury £10 m mansion in leafy Chelsea. Apparently, the happy couple were spotted viewing a ‘palace’ that they hope to settle down in and start a family. And with over 40 rooms at their disposal, I’ve got a feeling young Billie’s going to be pretty busy as old ‘tangerine bollocks’ is no doubt licking his lips at the very thought of playing ‘carrots and rabbits’ all over the place. The mansion is situated in the heart of the ‘Mecca’ for some of the biggest names in showbiz. Neighbours would include David Bowie, Liz Hurley, and Lord Sainsbury. Coincidentally, another huge star of both screen and radio was also looking for a pad where he and his teenage bride can settle down. Yep, good old Dave Lee Travis was spotted looking at a large patch of land in ‘leafy Wigan’. And, it would have to be large, as DLT’s tent and caravan take up roughly 55 foot of land. And I’m only too happy to report that Dave and his wife Nina did eventually find a patch just north of the city. Neighbours include Bill Oddie, Flowella Benjamin, and Lord Asda. BEN