ISSUE 56 January 12th 2001
		N E V E R F O R E V E R . . Well, what a surprise! The All Saints have split up. Thank the lord! Because now every decent man in Britain can rest safe in the knowledge that from now on we can watch Nic n’ Nat on Top Of the Pops with out the other two ugly donkeys getting in the way. How many times have I sat there watching them ‘perform’, deep in frustration that the camera is always giving me an hour long close up of Shazney and Mel? I mean, for starters, Shazney must be the only woman in the world who still thinks she’s sexy whilst doing a very good impression of Frank Bruno as Cinderella in panto. And Mel? Jesus! She looks more like Rodney Trotter’s younger sister, (and I think I’d rather sleep with Rodney given the choice!). So, expect there to be two new faces stacking the shelves in Asda come March. Nic and Nat on the other hand have already started recording as a duo. It will sound shit, but then again when did anyone ever give a monkeys about the music? As long as they continue to prance about in next to nothing whilst shaking their bangers like ‘two large policeman’s helmets in a pink swimming cap’, then they could be singing the theme tune to ‘On The Buses’ for all I care! BEN