ISSUE 45 October 20th 2000
		H O W D O E S H E D O I T ?. . . At last, things appear to be going from bad to worse for that slimy weasel Mick Hucknall. The other week we exclusively told you that he’d been dumped by his record company because he was now as popular as a nasty dose of the shits. But this week, Mick was again left reeling after he split from his hot bit of ruff ‘The Price Is Right’ beauty Lea Kristensen. ( Let's face it, the only way Mick got her to go out with him in the first place was by making sure he got the ‘price right’), He looks like a ginger version of Worsel Gummage! Apparently, Lea didn’t want to be ‘tied down’, something that the dirty little rat was constantly trying to do as he tried to get her involved in kinky sex games. Some nights, I have trouble simply getting Tina to have SEX let alone ‘Kinky’ sex! The last time we tried kinky sex, Tina was pissed out her mind and wearing nothing but a rubber mask and a whip. We would of got away with it had she not got the wrong door on her way back from the bathroom, and burst in on our two sons Gary and Keith as they slept. (They’re still having counselling) Still, judging by the amount of hot beaver he’s had over the years, I doubt very much he’s crying like a 'dolphin in a oven'. He’s shagged Catherine Zeta Jones, Martine Mclutcheon, Tracy Shaw, Steffi Graf and Helena Christensen! There is no justice in this world! BEN