ISSUE 42 September 29th 2000
		S T R I P O K E R . . . This is the kind of story that I thought was to be forever confined to the world of pure sexual fantasy. But no, this week it’s been confirmed that the world's favourite ‘sex siren’ Britney Spears was cruelly hoodwinked into losing all of her clothes in a dirty game of strip poker. Only last night, I had an almost similar dream involving Billie Piper and a game of ‘Snakes n’ Ladders’. But in reality, Britney’s ‘strip’ did actually happen. In L.A. on Saturday Night. I wasn’t there , unfortunately, I was organising a Raffle night at The Swan Inn in Titbury, but from what I’ve heard, she was definitely starkers after some Hollywood ‘heart throb’ got her pissed and then made sure he shuffled the pack so that she ended up with a number of cards that roughly consisted of the joker and the one that has the instructions on it. Needless to say by the time Britney had her ‘two hot air balloons and furry purse’ out her ‘Virgin Mary’ image was shattered forever. First there was her infamous episode with the Hoover and the golf ball, and now this! If Britney’s not careful, her image could be tarnished forever, a bit like Joan Of Arc’s was, once she was found in bed with two orphan boys and a garden hose. Britney, please think of your fans, before it’s too late ! BEN