ISSUE 27 June 16th 2000
		O N E 4 T H E R O A D . . . I knew it, I ruddy well knew it. Like my Grandmother in a pink swim suit, I could see this coming a mile off. Yep, Bobby Brown is an alcoholic. Speaking to me exclusively from an ‘AA’ convention (where he was trying to see if his membership covered breakdowns whilst pissed at the wheel of a combine harvester) Bobby 'broke down’ and sobbed uncontrollably as he told me of his ‘booze hell’. He told me : "I have a disease, I am an addict, I am an alcoholic." Never one to let my close friends wallow in their own sewage, I invited Bobby out for a drink that very evening, and lets just say the ‘Horse and Rat’ hadn’t seen a night like it in years. We drank the place dry! However, the night ended on a low, as Bobby was arrested in the car park whilst urinating on a police car. Now seeking rehab treatment whilst in the ‘Joseph Conter Detention Center ’ in Florida, Bobby has used his time to come clean about his problems: "It’s been tough not seeing my family, but now hopefully, I can get back to what I do best….uh, oh yes…… singing and dancing. The day I get out, is the day I start working!" All I can say Bobby is, I hope they throw away the key. BEN